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| Genuine Excerpts
from Letters Sent to Landlords...
The toilet is blocked and
we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.
I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
This is to let you know that
there is a smell coming from the man next door.
The toilet seat is cracked:
where do I stand?
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
I request your permission
to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Our lavatory seat is broken
in half and is now in three pieces.
The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone
to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now
pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very
damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send
someone to do something about it.
Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.
Would you please send a man
to repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight
away.
Could you please send someone
to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable
for us.
When the workmen were here
they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please
send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
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